Monday, May 27, 2013

I am so high

The last two days have been really bizarre.  I have a cold and some very normal attendant symptoms - coughing, sneezing, runny nose, sort throat, etc.  Strangely it also seems to be making me feel like I have used a lot of pot.  All the same things are true - frame of reference discontinuities, a buzzing feeling in some random muscles, feeling munchy and generally happy, and general stupidity.  There is also that indescribable something that constitutes feeling stoned that I can't quite put my finger on.

If I could bottle and sell this I would be a gazillionaire.  People would object to the first part of the cold where you get a vicious sore throat and are drippy but there has got to be a big market for being high for a couple days without doing anything illegal.  Maybe that is too optimistic; I would probably only be a gazillionaire if I managed to somehow breed out the getting sick part of the bug and leave in the amusing part.  For most people it would be more of a problem I imagine since the average person has to go to work but I can afford to just take the time required to get past it.  My new video game requires enough brain cycles that I am pretty bad at it right now but you can't have it all.

I seem to be doing it all wrong.  I was at a stag on the weekend where I was cold sober and then I spent the next two days in a haze under the influence of some mind altering effect.  Shouldn't I be recovering from a stupendous headache and swearing never to drink so much again?  That, and wondering where exactly I lost my pants.  Thinking "yeah, the last time I was thinking really clearly was at the end of a bachelor party" is so WRONG.

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