This past week I noticed something that I should have known but which never really hit me viscerally before. I saw a really powerful trend between the amount of sleep I get and my ability to do my workout. Intellectually I am aware that sleep is good for basically everything, both physical and mental, and I have the experience of sleeping badly and being kind of shit at everything but lifting weights has really brought home how important it is.
Seeing the numbers in front of me and doing exactly the same thing day after day really makes it clear how much worse I am when I sleep badly. A good sleep means I push through the workout fast and feel good. A crap sleep means I barely manage to scrape by and need long breaks, and when I finally do finish I end up sitting in my chair stunned, unable to do much of anything.
Knowing a thing intellectually is really different from looking at my arms and wondering why they suck so much today. I can apparently keep the concept of sleep repairing my muscles in my head at the same time as the concept that my muscles are a sort of fixed thing capable of fixed tasks regardless of the other conditions of my life. Only when I am forced to confront them together does it manage to fix my perceptions to align with real life.
I really should know this stuff by now. I am middle aged! How is it that I have not properly sorted out how sleep (a thing I have done fairly often at this point) affects my strength?
I also had an amusing awakening about just how my body is shaped. While I know what I look like in a mirror I apparently have no idea how I compare to other people. The Flautist, the Mathematician, Wendy and I were talking about a party I am going to and I suggested that I might go in drag. Both Wendy and The Flautist gave me a look that said "Yes please and also YOM" and it made me wonder what exactly it was about a dress and fishnets on me that would get them so wound up. I still don't know, but I was certainly intent on running with that ball and so I tried on some dresses.
Somehow in my head Wendy isn't that much smaller than me. I was primarily concerned that her dresses would hang off my because I lack breasts, and her dresses need to have plenty of room for breasts, for reasons. In my head I was wondering about stuffing a bra to be able to wear her dresses in some reasonable fashion.
But my lacking boobs was not the issue. Rather it was that the dresses couldn't possibly get on my body. Most of them simply couldn't go on at all, even fully unzipped - I would have torn them to shreds trying to get them on. I managed to get a dress on that had spaghetti straps on top, but the zipper was a good 20 centimeters from closing properly. I didn't need a corset to fit into them, I needed a wood chipper.
I don't feel that much bigger than Wendy. I know in a visceral fashoin that I am a lot taller but apparently my body is a whole category larger and I didn't even realize that. It felt so weird to be facing down that difference when it is someone I am so totally familiar with.
I *should* know exactly the difference between Wendy and myself, should I not?
Apparently I don't.
It turns out I can wear some of her skirts just fine, but anything that has to a torso on it is right out.
In the past there have been situations where I thought going out in drag might be fun but I haven't ever done it. I looked at the price of size 12 high heels and almost threw up, and honestly finding anything that would fit me in a flattering fashion from the women's clothing section is going to be both extremely difficult and super expensive.
It turns out that fishnet stockings are one size fits all, so I will probably end up just wearing a kilt, a dress shirt, and fishnets. Not drag, exactly, but it is the closest I am going to get for the moment. For those that are curious, I do not intend to shave my legs for this adventure. Even if it could get me some really "Yes please" type looks.