1 week ago I was in a club in Boston watching a Dresden Dolls concert. This was mostly because I was following Wendy and The Flautist around; they are huge fans of the Dresden Dolls and since they were going to Boston to watch the concert I went too. There were other things to see and do in Boston of course, but this was the big thing that set our schedule.
For most of the people in the club the concert seemed to go well. The band was talented and put on a good show but it managed to miss with me in a lot of ways, some of which I can articulate, some of which I find myself at a loss to describe.
I certainly loved the drummer's costume. I want a tuxedo covered in red sequins now, though I don't suppose that it would look that good on me since I am not drumming in a club with lights flashing all over me.
The music wasn't quite my thing. I am not really sure why though. There are some songs that I love because I love the lyrics, and some songs that I love even though there aren't any lyrics, but I found that the Dresden Dolls managed to thread between those two points and have lyrics that I couldn't follow. I bet all the people in the audience who knew the songs and could anticipate the words followed along just fine, but I was mostly lost.
After the concert people asked me what I thought of it. I was stuck because I don't want to be the downer that tells everyone who is clearly flying high with excitement that I didn't like the show, but I also don't want to pretend or lie either.
I told them that I had felt intense loneliness and alienation at the show. The music wasn't really my thing, (though the performance was really well executed), but the thing that made me feel lonely and alienated was mostly the speeches the singer Amanda Palmer made. They were impassioned speeches directed at her people, the people who are her ardent fans. I am sure they resonated with those people but they made me feel like I was in the wrong place.
When someone gives a speech you can take the words they say and expect wildly different responses based on the listeners state of mind. I knew the people that loved her already would love the speeches, but when I looked at the literal words they made it clear that Amanda Palmer does not think much of people like me. I don't know that my interpretation of her words accurately reflects her values, but it certainly worked to make me feel unwelcome. It is easy to give a speech knowing that the people who will hear it will interpret your words in a favourable light, always keeping in mind that they know and trust you. When someone outside your circle hears that speech though it can be a disaster as they don't have that trust and have their own biases in place and your speech can be heard an entirely different way.
It is odd to me that I am still thinking about this. After all, I went to a concert, the music was okay but not really my thing, and one of the people in the band said some stuff I didn't like. Hardly seems like the sort of thing that should matter, really.
And yet it has stuck with me.
...I'm genuinely curious about what it was that got said that threw you off. I'm really not familiar with the Dresden Dolls' music, though on paper they seem like I'd probably be into them, but I've always been incredibly turned off by Amanda Palmer's public persona (in ways I can neither justify nor articulate; she just gives me intuitive badfeels?)
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way you do about Amanda Palmer - can't quite say why. She talked about a couple things, the main one was a speech about live music, and how people really needed to stop staying inside watching netflix and come out to her shows instead because live music IS IMPORTANT. The speech was pushing the idea that going to music shows is a political, effective sort of thing while staying home is not. Obviously people who go to live music is good for Amanda Palmer but it does fuck all for improving the world - it isn't important at all. It just bothered me that she so obviously conflated 'liking my stuff' with 'making the world better'. Also bothered me that she was so willing to dismiss art that isn't her type of art as pointless.
DeleteThere was also a thing about her merch at the show being merch where the money goes to her instead of a recording company. I certainly get why she wants that and I know she had some bad experiences with recording companies, but there is a difference between 'good for Amanda Palmer' and 'good'. I guess it was that overtone of tribalism, where the audience cheered that they would be giving their money to the millionaire they identify with (who knows fuck all about them) rather than other people they don't know. I can't say the things she said were evil or anything, not at all... but they bothered me because of the obvious self interest and tribalism cloaked in tones of righteousness.